Here Comes the Judge Vanquish Your Internal Critic – Take a Risk
July 2009
Conscious Living
by Kathy Ryndak and Gord Riddell
Ever wonder what the impact on our lives is when the majority of popular culture and media is based on reality shows, legal shows and political commentary? Most of this is geared to point out who is wrong, who is weak and who just doesn’t live up to someone’s standards. Could this affect us personally as to how we feel and behave? Absolutely.
One effect is to believe that somewhere out there is a rule book that states who and how you are supposed to be. Sometimes it may feel like we are the only person who did not receive the rule book, as everyone else seems to know all the answers as to how your life should be lived.
Another effect is that it makes change difficult, because what if we make a wrong decision – or worse – are not even sure of what or how to change and then risk being judged? Since so much needs to change in order for the planet and humanity to evolve, it seems we have a real problem.
From the Top Down
There is no disagreement that things need to, and are, changing – from the financial world to our approach to the environment, but are doing so very slowly. You cannot change human institutions and beliefs without first changing those who have developed this hegemony. It is impossible to change a structure unless everything within the structure is shifted as well. This applies to buildings, institutions and belief systems.
Most everyone agrees that change must occur on this planet in order to survive – to share our wealth, alleviate poverty, provide health care and create equal rights for all. These things cannot be legislated.
A prime example is the U.S. human rights movement of the 1960s, leading up to 2008 with the election of the first black president. It took more than 40 years (an entire generation) for people to shift their beliefs and cause the structure to actually shift, so that all races were truly eligible to hold the Office of President. It appears North America is still shifting when it comes to women leaders.
Who Is To Blame?
Popular culture can play a much needed role in educating and helping shift our ideas, however the emphasis seems to be so centered on who’s right and who’s wrong. Any mistake that puts you in the ‘wrong’ category risks massive public exposure and ridicule. You could even be voted off the island! This is where the damage can occur — who wants to be singled out for the decisions we have made? It is unconsciously stopping many people from stepping out and creating change within themselves. The worry is, what if we are wrong?
Individual Vs. Collective
From a spiritual perspective, we have no idea why people are here: what we are here to learn or to experience for our own soul’s growth. The judgments that occur diminish individuality, and imply that collectively we are all here to do and learn the same things – which is not the case.
Individually, we are here to follow our own soul’s path, to learn and experience what we personally need to accomplish from having a physical life. Collectively, through our learning and co-operation, we can help to change structures, but only if individuality is held sacred.
The fear of standing out and being judged is interfering with our personal and collective growth. It can diminish the possibilities for change within organizations, as people fear being admonished for thinking in a new and possibly creative way.
We have internalized this climate of judgment starting with the rules of our family who instilled within us what was acceptable behaviour, through to peer pressure in our teens which instilled a new set of rules in order to belong. This process internalized all the rules, real or perceived, into a great big sub-personality, called the Judge, which resides within our psyche. The Judge will admonish us from within if we act or say anything that may be outside of the rules over which this Judge presides. It keeps us in line. You could also call him the Critic when we get into negative moods that include a flow of self deprecating internal statements. The Critic and Judge team up as they view the world and pass judgment on all who do not live up to their criteria. This one is mostly OK, that other person is definitely not!
The danger here is that we are evolving into a less tolerant society, including less tolerant of ourselves. This lowered level of tolerance stands in the way of making real change within ourselves and within society. The human psyche is stuck in maintaining the status quo. On a larger scale, this is manifested by greed, power mongering and hoarding. And on a smaller scale, we are all struggling with our issues that keep rising to the surface because we never take the risk of stepping forward into something new and different.
What needs to change is how we allow fear of judgment to keep us in place. If we honestly believe the world and its institutions do need to change, then we must be prepared to change as well. Stop judging yourself and stop judging others. This is not new – Jesus spoke this 2,000 years ago! We really have no idea what it is we are here for and what we are actually supposed to be learning on a soul level. How could we possibly presume to know what others are here to learn? Enough with the judges and the so called experts. One thing for certain is that we are all here at this pivotal point in history because we all chose to be here and we all chose, on some level, to be instruments of change in our history.
Gord Riddell and Kathy Ryndak are therapists and co-founders of the Transformational Arts College. The College offers both Full and Part-time professional and personal growth programs in Spiritual Psychotherapy, Holistic Health Care, Coaching and Natural Spa Therapies. Registrations for this September are well under way. The ever popular “Discovering the Total Self” program begins its next rotation in June. Check out our Summer Lecture Series! For a calendar, call the College at (416) 484-0454 or toll free 1-800-TAC-SELF or visit online at www.transformationalarts.com
by Kathy Ryndak and Gord RiddellEver wonder what the impact on our lives is when the majority of popular culture and media is based on reality shows, legal shows and political commentary? Most of this is geared to point out who is wrong, who is weak and who just doesn’t live up to someone’s standards. Could this affect us personally as to how we feel and behave? Absolutely.
One effect is to believe that somewhere out there is a rule book that states who and how you are supposed to be. Sometimes it may feel like we are the only person who did not receive the rule book, as everyone else seems to know all the answers as to how your life should be lived.
Another effect is that it makes change difficult, because what if we make a wrong decision – or worse – are not even sure of what or how to change and then risk being judged? Since so much needs to change in order for the planet and humanity to evolve, it seems we have a real problem.
From the Top Down
There is no disagreement that things need to, and are, changing – from the financial world to our approach to the environment, but are doing so very slowly. You cannot change human institutions and beliefs without first changing those who have developed this hegemony. It is impossible to change a structure unless everything within the structure is shifted as well. This applies to buildings, institutions and belief systems.
Most everyone agrees that change must occur on this planet in order to survive – to share our wealth, alleviate poverty, provide health care and create equal rights for all. These things cannot be legislated.
A prime example is the U.S. human rights movement of the 1960s, leading up to 2008 with the election of the first black president. It took more than 40 years (an entire generation) for people to shift their beliefs and cause the structure to actually shift, so that all races were truly eligible to hold the Office of President. It appears North America is still shifting when it comes to women leaders.
Who Is To Blame?
Popular culture can play a much needed role in educating and helping shift our ideas, however the emphasis seems to be so centered on who’s right and who’s wrong. Any mistake that puts you in the ‘wrong’ category risks massive public exposure and ridicule. You could even be voted off the island! This is where the damage can occur — who wants to be singled out for the decisions we have made? It is unconsciously stopping many people from stepping out and creating change within themselves. The worry is, what if we are wrong?
Individual Vs. Collective
From a spiritual perspective, we have no idea why people are here: what we are here to learn or to experience for our own soul’s growth. The judgments that occur diminish individuality, and imply that collectively we are all here to do and learn the same things – which is not the case.
Individually, we are here to follow our own soul’s path, to learn and experience what we personally need to accomplish from having a physical life. Collectively, through our learning and co-operation, we can help to change structures, but only if individuality is held sacred.
The fear of standing out and being judged is interfering with our personal and collective growth. It can diminish the possibilities for change within organizations, as people fear being admonished for thinking in a new and possibly creative way.
We have internalized this climate of judgment starting with the rules of our family who instilled within us what was acceptable behaviour, through to peer pressure in our teens which instilled a new set of rules in order to belong. This process internalized all the rules, real or perceived, into a great big sub-personality, called the Judge, which resides within our psyche. The Judge will admonish us from within if we act or say anything that may be outside of the rules over which this Judge presides. It keeps us in line. You could also call him the Critic when we get into negative moods that include a flow of self deprecating internal statements. The Critic and Judge team up as they view the world and pass judgment on all who do not live up to their criteria. This one is mostly OK, that other person is definitely not!
The danger here is that we are evolving into a less tolerant society, including less tolerant of ourselves. This lowered level of tolerance stands in the way of making real change within ourselves and within society. The human psyche is stuck in maintaining the status quo. On a larger scale, this is manifested by greed, power mongering and hoarding. And on a smaller scale, we are all struggling with our issues that keep rising to the surface because we never take the risk of stepping forward into something new and different.
What needs to change is how we allow fear of judgment to keep us in place. If we honestly believe the world and its institutions do need to change, then we must be prepared to change as well. Stop judging yourself and stop judging others. This is not new – Jesus spoke this 2,000 years ago! We really have no idea what it is we are here for and what we are actually supposed to be learning on a soul level. How could we possibly presume to know what others are here to learn? Enough with the judges and the so called experts. One thing for certain is that we are all here at this pivotal point in history because we all chose to be here and we all chose, on some level, to be instruments of change in our history.
Gord Riddell and Kathy Ryndak are therapists and co-founders of the Transformational Arts College. The College offers both Full and Part-time professional and personal growth programs in Spiritual Psychotherapy, Holistic Health Care, Coaching and Natural Spa Therapies. Registrations for this September are well under way. The ever popular “Discovering the Total Self” program begins its next rotation in June. Check out our Summer Lecture Series! For a calendar, call the College at (416) 484-0454 or toll free 1-800-TAC-SELF or visit online at www.transformationalarts.com